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Really Planning Ahead

November 15, 2011

My fiance, Michael, and I received the book Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married recently as an engagement gift. Highly, highly recommend this book by Dr. Gary Chapman!

We had previously read his wildly popular 5 Love Languages together and benefited greatly from that. That book sparked a good deal of discussion between us (something we are quite good at) and we learned much about each other.

This book covers a number of basic ideas and principles that are important to understand before marriage. We are reading it out loud and discussing as we go. My personally favorite chapter was about the importance of apologizing when we have done something wrong or hurt the other individual. Of course, both of us already knew that and (being imperfect) have already made use of apology and forgiveness. However, it was eye-opening to see how many varieties of ways there are to apologize. Mostly it goes back to the way we were raised and grew up. Some people were taught to say “I’m sorry” while others make visible restitution. For example, I was taught that I needed to say “Please forgive me” when I had done something wrong against someone and anything less than that from someone else seems to be lacking in sincerity to me.

So far, this book has helped us to more fully understand and appreciate the differences in each other.

I think that this book would be perfect for newly-weds or for engaged couples. Check one out the next time you are at a bookstore.

Have any of you read this book or any other of Dr. Chapman’s books? What did you think?

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